Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
