break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
