They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
