guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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