dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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