I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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