David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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