Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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