Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
