she was so not down for the gang bang
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
