Pappa wants mamma naked
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
