I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wish my penis had a tongue
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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