Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
