Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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