all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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