I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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