not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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