.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
