It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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