So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
