Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
