Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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