theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
