Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
