btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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