Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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