before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
