So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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