I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Boobs are out for the taking
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
