My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
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I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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