plz talk dirty to me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
