He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
