Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize