pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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