dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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