I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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