Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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