so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
