You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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