Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
