all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
