Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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