why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
