I smell stomach acid.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
