Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Operation Purity has been aborted
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?