; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have demons in me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner