I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
