You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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