I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
