There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
