your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
