don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
