Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
