So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
