i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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