Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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