wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
