I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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