i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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