my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
