Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
