Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
