i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
