Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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