if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.