Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
so much tequila, so little girl.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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