Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
