he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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