...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
